And I’m not talking about the European country recently at war with Russia.

I’m talking about the American state just two notches on the map below my own.

According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, well, just click the headline:

Bigfoot located in Georgia?

Normally I’d be quitting my job right about now and driving down there to see what’s going on. I’ve had a lifelong fascination with things like Sasquatch, the Loch Ness Monster, ghosts, Martians, etc.; if there’s been a book written about it, I’ve checked it out. I’m a Mulder through and through.

But this sounds fishy, and some of the details are intriguing.

First of all, one of the men who “found Bigfoot” is a cop who’s on leave after being shot at a shootout at a Krystal restaurant, which is like the southern version of our own dearly beloved White Castle.

Can you imagine getting shot at a Krystal AND finding Bigfoot in the same lifetime?

Not so fast.

Take a look at the official website of the finders:

Searching for Bigfoot

The fact that they’re already sending out press releases and arranging press conferences makes this sound more than a little suspect.

I mean, if you found Bigfoot, would you present the DNA evidence at the Cabana Hotel in Palo Alto, California?

Because that’s what these guys are doing this Friday at noon.

Here’s my favorite quote from the press release:

Extensive scientific studies will be done on the body by a team of scientists including a molecular biologist, an anthropologist, a paleontologist and other scientists over the next few months at an undisclosed location.

Ha! That reads to me like, “A molecular biologist, an anthropologist, a paleontologist, actor Dabney Coleman, Southwest Airlines Senior Vice President of Marketing Todd Sandusky, the ghost of Conrad Bain from television’s Diff’rent Strokes, and some other science-type people.”

Oh, and these guys own a company that offers Bigfoot expeditions.

The story has been picked up by international media.

Competing Sasquatch watchers at the BFRO (Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization) are calling this a hoax.

If it is indeed a big bunch of poppycock, what do these guys hope to gain? Why would a cop be involved in something that will destroy his public reputation if/when it turns out to be fake?

I want to believe more than anyone. Believe me. But this sounds like some kind of half-baked publicity scam. I’ll eat my words if I’m proven wrong, but come on. You don’t find a dead Bigfoot and put it in a freezer and then put it on your suspicious website and announce press conferences. Unless you’re these guys, I guess.

Whatever.

I guess we’ll hear more about it if the press conference happens on Friday.

And if these guys are lying, I hope somebody sews their asses to their faces.