Several weeks ago, the subject of Hardee’s came up at Empire Comics.

(This shows you how far behind I am on my bloggings.)

So my friends Aaron and Greg and I, who often grab dinner together on Wednesdays after the shop closes, made plans to visit Hardee’s the following week.

This is an account of what happened.

I’ve always had fond memories of Hardee’s. When I was younger, there were two Hardee’s restaurants on State Street in New Albany.

Two!

And I ate at the one in Corydon a lot with my family.

And even after one of the two locations on State Street eventually became a Dairy Queen, my friends Bob and (the other) Greg and Chuck and I would occasionally eat at the remaining State Street Hardee’s during breaks while putting together the campus newspaper. I also ate at a Hardee’s in Bloomington with (the other) Greg when we met there before heading to Indianapolis for a Barenaked Ladies concert Greg had won tickets to on the radio, as he was often known to do.

In the intervening years, the Corydon Hardee’s and the remaining State Street Hardee’s closed down. I find that very sad. The only remaining Hardee’s in the area is in Jeffersonville, so that’s where Aaron and Greg and I trekked to for our Hardee’s adventure.

While the rest of the nation was worried about cholesterol and calories, Hardee’s had its scientists working around the clock to create burgers built for those of us who realize that you only live once and should enjoy the best, least healthy burgers imaginable, even if they ultimately contribute to less living. And thus were born such classics as the Monster Burger and the Monster Thickburger.

(I also find it sad that lots of people talk trash about Hardee’s, and again, I admire Hardee’s for bravely giving people what they want.)

Aaron ordered the Monster Thickburger combo, which comes with a Medium drink (which is the size of an Extra Large in any other restaurant) and huge helping of premium quality, skin-on, natural cut french fries.

Aaron introduces the Monster Thickburger

The Monster Thickburger boasts a pair of 1/3-pound Angus beef patties, bacon, American cheese and mayo between its buttered, seeded buns. It has 1,410 calories, with 965 of those from fat, 107 grams of saturated fat and 2,740 milligrams of sodium. But 60 grams of protein is good, right?

I got the 2/3-pound Double Thickburger, which is two 1/3-pound Angus beef patties, American cheese, tomato, lettuce, red onion, mayo, ketchup, mustard and pickles. This was also a combo deal, with a Coke and fries. The 2/3-pound Double Thickburger has 1,240 total calories, 810 calories from fat, 38 grams of saturated fat, 52 grams of protein and 2,090 milligrams of sodium. But since I didn’t get mine with mustard or pickles, that probably shaved off at least 1,000 calories. That’s what I’m telling my heart, at least.

The 2/3-pound Double Thickburger

Greg ordered the Hawaiian Chicken Sandwich, which is a charbroiled chicken breast buried under Teriyaky sauce, grilled pineapple, Swiss cheese, lettuce, onions, tomato and mayo. It only has 460 calories, so Greg’s ticker was definitely the winner of the evening.

And so we dined, talking about comics and movies and ignoring what was happening in our arteries.

As we were leaving, we noticed a blueprint for an old-tmey Hardee’s sign on the wall.

Hello, summer project!

Big thanks to Hardee’s for staying true to their mission, and thanks as always to Aaron and Greg for another awesome night on the town.

Coming soon — the long-awaited chronicle of my visit to Chicago, hosted by another Greg.