Before I begin, I’d like to express the great love I hold in my heart for Tom Welling and Erica Durance, who play Clark Kent and Lois Lane on Smallville. I’d love to see them in a Superman movie with Michael Rosenbaum as Lex Luthor, but it’s just never going to happen, so on we go.

I’ll begin with Clark, Lois, and Zod.

CLARK KENT/SUPERMAN

Jon Hamm. He’s an excellent actor with a powerful screen presence. He’s a man’s man who exudes strength and authority. And I think that’s what you need from Superman.

I don’t want to see a young Clark Kent learning the ropes — we’ve got Smallville for that. I want to see Superman doing Superman things, and that’s why I just can’t imagine anyone under 30 taking the role. (In all fairness, Christopher Reeve was 24 when he first played Superman, but he was an anomaly and able to exude grace and power and goodness far beyond his years.)

Hamm’s performances on this season of Mad Men are his finest yet, and he’s only getting better. But in addition to being a dramatic powerhouse, he’s also shown an incredible flair for comedy on 30 Rock and Saturday Night Live.

And though I know we’ll never see this movie’s Superman interacting with Christian Bale’s Batman, I’d like to think that if they did meet, they’d look believable together. Hamm is the man. There’s just no other choice for me right now.

(And he also just finished working with new Superman director Zack Snyder in Snyder’s upcoming Sucker Punch. which means he’s still fresh in the director’s head.)

LOIS LANE

Carla Gugino! She’s another Zack Snyder favorite, having worked with him in Watchmen and Sucker Punch.

She’s gorgeous, she’s sexy, she’s tough, and she’d look amazing standing next to Hamm.

In my Superman movie, Clark and Lois would already be married.

I don’t want any romantic angst.

I don’t want to feel sorry for Superman.

I want to see why he’s the one superhero who’s really got it all figured out, and his marriage to Lois is a huge part of that.

I’d also heavily utilize Lois and her journalistic skills in the story. While Clark’s battling the bad guys up in the sky, Lois is using her wits to help on the ground. Show us how they work as a team, and show us that the relationship between two happily married thirty-somethings can still be fresh and sexy and romantic.

Carla’s the girl for the job.

If they cast younger, and they probably will, then I’d go with Zooey Deschanel or Alison Brie as Lois, but that would involve recasting my Clark, and like I said, I just can’t bear to think about that yet.

I’d also love to see Rashida Jones as Lois.

GENERAL ZOD

Edward Norton. He’s already said he’d like to be in Christopher Nolan’s next Batman movie, and we know he looks good in a goatee and can bring plenty of charisma and menace.

Other possibilities could be Gerard Butler, who famously played King Leonidas for Snyder in 300, and Oscar Isaac, who’s in Snyder’s Sucker Punch and stole many a scene as King John in Ridley Scott’s recent Robin Hood. Clive Owen would be awesome, too.

If they bring in Ursa and Non (who ravaged Metropolis alongside Zod in Superman II), then Carrie-Anne Moss as Ursa and Michael Clarke Duncan as Non.

You need a Zod who comes across as a dark version of everything Superman could have been, but isn’t. Superman seeks to respect and protect the world that adopted him, while Zod just wants to rule it. And the more moral ambiguity you can work into Zod’s motivations, the better, and an actor of Norton’s caliber would rock that.

And before I close, let’s watch this video of Jon Hamm looking and sounding like Superman:

Yeah. He’s the one.