A Fishburne says what?

Laurence Fishburne has been cast as the voice of the Silver Surfer in this summer’s Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer.

Okay.

The first Fantastic Four had some fun moments, though most of it was pretty awful. Lots of forced sentimentality and weak plotting. Ioan Gruffudd and Jessica Alba were miscast as Reed and Susan, though in all fairness they deserve big points for doing the best they could with what little they had to work with. (Are you seriously telling me that the most innovative use of Mr. Fantastic’s powers they could come up with was having him reach across the hall for a new roll when he ran out of toilet paper? Come on!) Michael Chiklis — TV’s The Commish! — and Chris Evans were much better suited to the roles of Ben Grimm and Johnny Storm, with Evans in particular stealing the show with his charisma and charm. Poor Julian McMahon — awesome on the shamefully excellent Nip/Tuck — did his best with the script’s sorry excuse for Dr. Doom, and I hope he gets more to do this time around.

You can watch the film’s trailer here. It looks like a better Fantastic Four film than the first one, even though Weekend at Bernie’s 2 was also a better Fantastic Four film than the first one.

Oh, well. Did you hear about Ed Norton signing on to play the Hulk? Now that’s some awesome news.

Anyway.

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer surfs, stretches, burns, turns invisible and drops like a big orange rock onto a theater near you on June 15, 2007.

Spider-Man 4 … and 5 … and 6 …

Spider-Man 3 hasn’t even opened yet, and I think it’s already made something like $5.7 billion. As if any of us actually had any doubt, Superhero Hype! reports today that director Sam Raimi said Sony Pictures is planning three more installments before the first reel of Spider-Man 3 is even warm.

It’s hard to beat the first two Spidey flicks, which for my money are so good because of Tobey Maguire’s successful, accessible channeling of Peter Parker. We can all relate to this guy, whose best is never enough no matter how hard he tries, and whose best intentions have a way of coming right back around to knock him down hard. Knowing what he’s feeling makes it that much easier to root for the guy, and that underdog quality is what makes the character so human.

That’s why I’m still a little bit worried that Spider-Man 3 might be biting off more than it can chew. The Venom storyline is pretty far out there, and it might be difficult to believably translate that to a series that so far has focused primarily on heart. (And yet, with 76-year-old Alvin Sargent still in the writer’s chair and Sam Raimi still calling the shots, I’m sure it’ll be just fine.) In addition to Venom, there’s Sandman (Thomas Haden Church), Sandman’s connection to Uncle Ben’s death (which I’m hoping doesn’t turn out the way I’m afraid it’s going to turn out), Gwen Stacy (played by the ridiculously gorgeous Bryce Dallas Howard), more drama with Mary Jane (Kirsten Dunst), battles with Harry (James Franco) and who knows what else they’ve crammed in there. We’ll find out soon enough.

I’ll be fine as long as there’s not another musical cameo by product-placed Macy Gray.

I bet the original meeting about that went something like this:

Sony Pictures President: Thanks for coming by my office, Stan.

Sam Raimi: It’s Sam.

Sony Pictures President: Thanks, Stan.

Sam Raimi: Sam.

Sony Pictures President: Here’s the thing, Sam-a-lam-a-ding-dong. The fellas over in the music division have got this new firecracker of a gal named Gravy May —

Sam: Macy Gray.

Sony Pictures President: Gesundheit! And we’re going to need you to put her in the movie in a singing cameo to help ship some soundtracks. How about that, Stan?

Sam Raimi: Sam. And I really don’t think I can do that. I mean, something so commercial and pandering and totally irrelevant to the rest of the film would be a major artistic and narrative stumble.

Sony Pictures President: I see. You’re right. Okay. Well. I’ll make sure Gravy Train —

Sam Raimi: Macy Gray, and I really can’t put her in the —

Sony Pictures President: — is down there on the set first thing Tuesday morning. We’re all part of the big machine here. We’re all in this together. Besides, if you say no, we’ll replace you with my nephew who just dropped out of his fourth film school.

Sam Raimi: Okay. Fine.

Sony Pictures President: Big thanks. I knew you’d do the right thing, Stan.

Sam Raimi: God damn it.

The question is, will Raimi and Tobey and the rest of the gang carry on after the third film? In this article on ComingSoon.net, both Raimi and Dunst say they’d do another.

Tobey Maguire, meanwhile, told the Associated Press at Spider-Man 3‘s global premiere in Tokyo on Monday that he’d do another “if a story presents itself, if we come up with something we feel deserves to be told,” adding, “I’m not going to make them just because they’ve been successful.”

Given enough cash, I’m sure they’ll all come back. And I hope they do, because I’ve loved these movies so far and can’t wait to see the third one.

(If I were lucky enough to be playing a comic book hero, I’d be begging for the 70-year contract and cranking out another movie as often as they’d let us make one. And I’d be rich, and I’ll take all of us out for pizzas and Pepsi.)

I’m sure we’ll find out what the future holds soon enough. In the meantime, Spider-Man fights all of his villains, 11 of Batman’s, indigestion from a bad burrito and some mild anxiety as he swings and flips and webs his way toward a theater near you on May 4, 2007.

An even better Bourne trailer!

Way back on March 29, I posted a link to an international teaser for The Bourne Ultimatum:

Bourne sighted in Irish trailer park

Also of note:

Movie Review: The Bourne Identity

Movie Review: The Bourne Supremacy

Now Yahoo! Movies here in the States has caught up with their Irish counterparts — and trumped them! — with a better, longer look at my most anticipated 2007 release.

You can see it right here in a variety of Windows Media, Quicktime and Quicktime HD options.

This new version has:

More brutal martial arts (including a fight/flip thing that’s totally top drawer)!

More explosions!

More hair-raising rooftop free-running!

More David Strathairn!

It needs:

More Julia Stiles!

(That’s funny; I was just saying that about my morning this morning.)

(And! The shot where he jumps off the roof and glides right down and through that window across the street wins an Oscar.)

Check it out. Prepare to have your socks rocked off.

Jason Bourne runs across rooftops, hits 13 guys with only 10 kicks and gets the manager to give him a discount on nachos with a vague, semi-threatening cellphone call made from an untraceable number on his way to the theater near you on August 3, 2007, and baby, you can damn well better believe I’ll be there.