Where there's a Will, there's a way

In the year 2009, we cure cancer.

By 2012, we’re all dead.

That’s the storyline of the new action/horror film I Am Legend, a re-imagining of the 1954 novel by Richard Matheson.

The cure for cancer ends up wiping out most of humanity; most of those who didn’t die mutated into monsters called Dark Seekers who fed on everything alive.

And as far as military scientist Robert Neville (Will Smith) knows, he’s the only uninfected human being left on the planet.

At the very least, he’s the only living person in New York City, where he and his dog, Sam, make the most of their existence while Robert still desperately searches for a cure.

But as the film’s tag line ominously portends, the last man on earth is not alone.

The city is still filled with Dark Seekers, causing Robert to lock down his home when they come out at night.

I’ve always liked Will Smith, and for my money this is absolutely the best work he’s ever done on film. The loneliness of the little routines he establishes for himself just to try to stay sane is heartbreaking, and he plays every scene here to absolute perfection.

In other words, where there’s a Will, there’s a will. And he sells it like a champ.

The first half of the film is especially smart, clever and terrifying. Because even when there’s nothing bad happening, there’s the constant suggestion of danger and doom. It’s really effective.

Unfortunately, whenever the Dark Seekers appear, the movie starts to look and feel like a video game with some of the worst computer effects in a decade.

So you’ve got this amazingly layered, gut-wrenching emotional performance from Will Smith, and a bunch of computer-generated monsters who look like bad rejects from The Mummy Returns.

Come on!

There’s one scene where Robert is doing some tests on a captured Dark Seeker, and it’s just an actress in makeup. And she looks absolutely horrifying.

The action scenes in the latter half of the film would have been far more effective if they’d put some really capable stunt people in really good makeup and let them chase/toss Will Smith around. As it is, almost all of the action scenes involve painfully obvious (and poorly rendered) digital doubles that hop all over the place and take everything away from the gritty realism the film should have aspired to.

Oh, well.

I can’t possibly praise Will Smith’s performance here enough, and a huge nod goes out to Abbey, the three-year-old German Shepherd who plays Sam.

There are moments in the film that will break your heart in half thanks to the excellent work from these two, and the first half is really superb. It’s only when the action ratchets up that the moody, scary atmosphere that had previously been so carefully nurtured devolves into a mess of messy special effects.

I still enjoyed it for what it was. But if they’d put as much time and effort into the monsters as they did into the emotional and psychological stuff, this really would have been a modern classic.

And it’s a shame they don’t give out Oscars for movies like this, because Will Smith deserves one.

Identity theft isn't fun

Being a victim of identity theft has become an unfortunate rite of passage for many people in this crazy digital age, and I just earned my merit badge.

On Friday, I bought a couple of burgers and a Coke at Rally’s. I used my debit card.

When I got home and sat down to record the amount in Quicken, I realized I’d left the receipt at work. So I hopped online to check my bank balance.

There was the charge for the burger.

But there was another charge made that afternoon. A $1 pre-authorization by Yahoo Wallet.

Huh?

So I called Yahoo Wallet, and was told that the charge was made because I’d just signed up for their services, which include easy, one-stop checkout for thousands of online merchants.

Only I hadn’t done that.

She looked up the transaction by my debit card number and told me that the account had been registered with my name, my address and my debit card number, including the three-digit security code on the back of the card.

Only I hadn’t done that.

And of course they couldn’t tell me who (as in an email address) set up the account, because that’s confidential information, even though the jackass who set up the account was using MY confidential information.

Charming.

She gave me an email address to send a complaint to.

Charming.

So now I’m waiting several business days to hear a response from that.

Maybe.

So then I called my bank, and had them kill my debit card. The person who set up this account hadn’t purchased anything yet, but they were definitely getting ready to go on a shopping spree. Such thieves typically use other people’s credit cards to buy things like digital downloads that don’t require anything being shipped. That’s where they get you.

And then I had to go down to the bank in person so that they could give me temporary online access so that I’ll be able to monitor my account from home.

I’ll get the replacement debit card in 7-10 business days.

Then I visited the Federal Trade Commission’s website and followed the steps.

I had to freeze my credit.

But I was able to view my credit report for free from the big three credit agencies, and there was no suspicious activity.

You should really do this, by the way.:

Free Annual Credit Report 

You’re able to request your full credit report once every year from each of the big three.

Please, please do this. It will cost you nothing, and it could save you everything.

And then I filled out a huge report on the FTC’s website, and I expect to be contacted by someone from the FTC next week.

So I’ve got lots of paperwork and frustrations to look forward to over the next few weeks, but at least they didn’t get anything.

Pfffft.

Oh, well.

I’d like to give a special thank-you to the Rallyburgers that indirectly rescued me from being cleaned out.