Blu-review: BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA

This is your old pal John Bierly in the Pork Chop Express on a dark and stormy night when the thunder’s rollin’ and the lightning’s crashin’, and I’m talkin’ to whoever’s listenin’ out there.

Now, I’m not sayin’ I’ve been everywhere and seen every DVD, but I do know it’s a pretty amazing planet we live on here, and a man would have to be some kind of fool to think there’s not a better home video format in this universe.

So when some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your DVD player, taps your years-out-of-print BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA 2-disc Special Edition DVD (reviewed here) up against the wall, looks you crooked in the eye, and asks you if you have it in on Blu, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye and remember what ol’ John Bierly always says at a time like that:

“Have you seen it in HD, John?”

“Yes, sir. The Blu is in the player.”

It’s hard to believe it’s been 23 years since tough-guy trucker Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) and his buddy Wang (Dennis Dun) followed the trail of Wang’s kidnapped gal-pal to Little China, where the Sing Dings — or was it the Chang Sings? — and the Wing Kongs got their little gang war interrupted by some “David Lo Pan” character, who came out of thin air in the middle of a goddamn alley while his buddies were flying around on wires cutting everybody to shreds, and he just stood there waiting for them to drive Jack’s truck through him with light coming out of his mouth.

(Tall guy. Weird clothes. First you see him, then you don’t.)

And then Jack and Wang got into bigger trouble, and Jack didn’t know where the hell they were a bunch of times, and he wondered where his truck was, and good ol’ Johnny Carpenter directed it all with charm and wit the old-fashioned way. Lots of monsters and top-notch chop-socky later and the day had been saved, just like in the old days. May the wings of liberty never lose a feather, I always say. Not to mention the fact that Suzee Pai and Kim Catrall were hotter than two-dollar pistols.

So is the Blu-ray the best this movie’s ever looked? I’d bet Egg Shen’s tour bus on it. A light layer of natural film grain brings out the finest details, and the colors look deeper and brighter than your favorite eyes have ever seen ’em. The 5.1 DTS-HD Master Audio track serves up 1:1 lossless sonic action so capably that it shakes the pillars of Heaven, Wang. And if that’s not enough for you, tune in to the (also lossless!) isolated musical score, where the drums are rumblin’ and the guitars are slashin’. Eight deleted scenes, an extended ending, three trailers, six TV spots, interviews, ancient makings-of, the theme song’s music video, and a crackerjack commentary by Russell and Carpenter are just some of the extra goodies here. They took what they wanted and left the rest — like your salad bar! — when it came to bringing over the extras from the 2001 2-disc DVD, but that thing’s out of print, and all the best stuff made it anyway.

So just remember what ol’ John Bierly does when the earth quakes and the poison arrows fall from the sky. John Bierly just looks that big ol’ storm right square in the eye, and he says, “Give me your best shot, pal. My BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA Blu-ray and I can take it.”

That’s why I need you good people to sit tight, hold the fort, and keep the home fires burning. And if I’m not back in 100 minutes, call the President.

She & Him: Volume 2

I still listen to She & Him’s first album, Volume 1, all the time. With the aptly titled Volume 2, they’ve moved beyond “Hey, listen to this amazing little side project we made,” skipped right past “We’re here to stay,” and rocketed right on through to “We’re a major force to be reckoned with” without missing a bop or a beat.

Believe it.

“She” is lovely and talented actress Zooey Deschanel, who has long been one of my favorite celebrity crushes.  The “Him” here is M. Ward, a singer, songwriter, and wildly gifted guitarist and producer whose solo work has rightfully earned him a loyal and eager following. Together, they’re a special kind of magic that combines the best of modern pop sensibilities with the warmth of old-school AM radio intimacy.

Ward’s production here is every bit as big, as expressive, and as inviting as Deschanel’s giant baby blues, enveloping her clear, earnest voice in one delightful arrangement after another. Ward’s fans will be happy to hear more of his harmonies on this volume than on the last, and he even steps all the way up to sing a co-lead vocal on their whiz-bang cover of NRBQ’s “Ridin’ in My Car.”

Deschanel’s delivery on these tracks is most often very matter-of-fact, but she’s constantly, instinctively doing a million little things to give her vocals variety and an earnest sense of knowing far beyond her years. That’s far too rare a talent these days, but she just knows exactly where to go with every moment and word. This isn’t an acting gig where rehearsals are involved, either; the things she does here with her voice come from the kind of instinctual connection to music that you either have or you don’t. We’re lucky that she’s got it so good.

Before I talk about some of the other songs, let’s take a minute to watch the video for the album’s first single, “In the Sun,” which immediately became one of my all-time favorite videos. And make sure you crank it up to 720p or 1080p to see it in higher quality:

Gaaaaaaaah. How brilliant and fun was that? (I love how Zooey is obviously having a difficult time not smiling every single second.)

I think this album has a better lyrical variety than Volume 1 did; if I wrote down every line that made me smile, I’d damn nearly have to transcribe the entire album. Piano-driven bopper “Don’t Look Back” begins with more of that old-soul vibe that defines so much of the album: “Orpheus melted the heart of Persephone, but I never had yours. I followed you back to the end of the path, but I never found the door,” heading to the chorus of, “Don’t look back, all you’ll ever get is the dust from the steps before. I don’t have to see you every day, but I just want to know you’re there.”

The more mellow “Lingering Still” is another of my lyrical favorites: “I like to learn things slow. I like learning a lot. I like to get it all again and in the end you know you get what you got,” and then the chorus is, “And the world’s like a science and I’m like a secret, but I saw you lingering still.” Some of the album’s best backing vocals and guitar work can be found on this one, too.

Lots of great string arrangements can be found across the album, and I hear a lot more electric guitar here than on the first one. That extra jig-a-jig-a-jangle goes a long way to making everything so sonically pleasing.

“Me and You” is another laid-back track highlighted by M. and Zooey lazily trading “ba-da-da-dum” and “ba-da-da” over a refrain of “You’ve got to be kind to yourself.”

Mandolin accents bolster the poppy piano on “Home” as Zooey builds to one of the album’s sweeter ideals: “I could be your state and I could be your nation. It doesn’t get better than home, now does it? I could be your welcome and I could be your greeter, I could be sweet and I could be sweeter. I want to be where your heart is home. I want to see you with the light in the morning. There’s never been such a beautiful warning to me, to me. Why don’t we just sit and stare and do nothing? Nothing at all for a while.” And like an afterthought, she effectively punctuates it with, “I like the way you smile.” Just like that, my heart is hers.

“I’m Gonna Make It Better” is just as charming, and “Over It Over Again” comes in late in the game to become one of the album’s most memorable tracks. “Why do I always want to sock it to you hard?” Zooey asks. “Let you know what love is like, when I’m keeping all my cards up on the shelf,” right before a tough, delightfully nonchalant girl-group harmony (that’s all Zooey) adds “where you can’t see them.” The “just like” and “and I’m” in “Running away from is just like running a business, and I’m keeping up with the games you play every day” are all Zooey, too, segueing into one of the smartest lyrical moments on the record: “I’ve gotten over it over and over again. I’ve gotten sick of it, but a lick of it will suck me back in.”

After a wonderfully varied mix of faster and mid-tempo tracks, the album ends on two slower notes. “Brand New Shoes” begins with, “I had some brand new shoes. They were all red, but they gave me the blues.” Second verse: “We are all made of air. There’s stars in my eyes and there’s sun in my hair. And I’m running away, it makes me feel better.” Makes me feel pretty good, too.

“If You Can’t Sleep” glides along like a gospel lullaby, with the huge, sweet swell of a soothing “mmmm” behind beautiful sentiments like these: “If you can’t sleep, I’ll be there in your dreams. If you can’t sleep at all, and in your dreams I’ll touch your cheek, and lay my head on your shoulder.” After a delivery of “Goodbye, shadows” that could wash away the sadness from anything, Zooey sings, “If you’re far away, if you can’t see my face, if the world is cold, but the sun shines the same, shut your eyes, there are bluer skies, for you’re embraced in my heart.”

All throughout the album, M. and Zooey make all of it seem so effortless, even though this one really is a lot more lyrically, vocally, and musically complex in every possible way than its predecessor. And yet it never sounds busy or forced.

I can’t stop listening to it — it’s a perfect spring/summer album with a heart that will be beating along with mine all year long.